NEW YEAR, NEW DAY, NEW BEGINNING

I (mommy Karen) stopped reading other mom's blog regarding Cochlear implanted children improvements in my yahoo groups and deaf village. it's new year , a new day , a new beginning for all of us,including me and Katrina. I started working again a month ago, and hoping by working she won't stop therapy anymore and continue her studies in the school she will fit in and learn more, I stopped to compare her to other kids and pressure myself to death about her talking, Once again we start with a prayer and once again dedicate our Lives to Jesus, I pray that we will be at the right place at the right time with the right people and the right circumstances In God's plan and time.

Moretimes I love punishing myself by stressing myself with small things,,,good thing my husband is the cool one. Katrina is happy and I know she will talk one day, just one step at a time. My other kids will grow up , I can't cry over spilled milk, we can't get back time so we move on, we look up, then we look forward...Let's go forth and run the race until we reach our goal....

UPDATE on Katrina

UPDATE on Katrina

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KATRINA

All my pain, hardship and tears I offer it to all of my kids, but you are a special child and you need special love that's why I gave you special care, I don't regret anything I did for you, and I will do everything again just to make your life easier. I will not stop until I hear you talk, I will not stop until I see you stand up above them all, you are DEAF but it will not make you lesser person than anybody else, moreso, it makes you special above them all. I will teach you to love, to be humble, to be true to yourself and to be thankful in any simple things in life. I will teach you the things i did not learn, you will be a better person that I am. I will teach you to love life rather than things, I will see to it that you will have the courage to face the world by yourself, the confidence inside you to face anybody and everybody.Faith in God and His love. That's all I can give you, even we are not rich in material things, but we rich in faith, love and hope.Me, Dad Kuya Kyle and Kuya Justin,will always stand by your side , to cheer you on. Even you cannot read this for now, i know someday you will read this and by that time , you will read it ALOUD. WE LOVE YOU SO MUCH ANAK, God gave you to us just the way you are because you will do something great and He has plans for you. I can't wait to hear you say I LOVE YOU TOO.

Whisper in my ears

I told Katrina to whisper in my ears, play pretend she moves close to me as if saying something, no clear words yet ,bababa and mamama.

After Practicing the Ling sounds , 6 syllables to check if her implant is doing well, while she is whispering in my ears, i give words to what she is saying , i whisper back to her ear (processor) . I said, tell God you want to study now, that you will enter school on Monday, and continue in words and signing of writing , then i read stories to her using my older son language book...

Pretending that she is just like any of my siblings, not looking now but what will happen next. FAITH,,,believing in things you cannot see nor touch. Hold on to it as if it is your last breath. I say, PROVE to me once more that you are always be faithful,,,

What more can i do , but to wait and wait until it happens and it will definitely will happen!That she is no different to all of them, normal hearing child...

THANKFUL

Last Saturday , May 23 . We went to Philippine General Hospital to give gifts, food and encouragement to pediatric and surgery patients. My friend Kcat who have tumors (NF2) also deaf, celebrate her birthday there, she's already in her wheelchair and half body dead, she's 26years old. Kcat is my angel , she helps me make Katrina website for our fundraising for Katrina's cochlear implant (http://katrinahears.multiply.com/) and as we give , my heart clenched , i want to cry for the children i see , I hugged the mothers for I know what they feel and said a little prayer. I can see their eyes with new hope when my friend speak eventhough it's hard for her to speak, encourage them that life moves on inspite of sickness. This is girl undergone so much surgery and still in wheelchair yet, she encourage people , I was amazed,inspired and humbled. I've been complaining of our life. Then, i see my little angel , boy Sabobo, his also deaf, but i already helped them to get a hearing aid. However, he have to be operated again and again for his eyes and clef. I see her mother smiled when we visited them with my friend Kcat , again they gave them hope.

I'm so blessed to have Kcat as my friend,She's an angel here on earth and I won't stop to be a blessing to other people, even for a moment.

Katrina is improving every day, and I know one day she will be talking just like any other kids, she will be my testimony to others that God made miracles....

I will bless somebody in times of my hardship

I'm tired of never ending begging, never ending asking for help, yet I remember that My Father in heaven have more than enough..I just need to wait and Praise Him while waiting and Praise Him during the hard times. rejections after rejections. I don't want to work to leave them inorder to pay for the therapist so my flee continues. Then, i received a text from a friend, the friend I helped few months ago, her child is much worse than Katrina because he is also deaf and have eye problem that needs to be operated for so many times and their indigent people that only rely on Philippine General Hospital charity, my heart cries for them more, I went to visit them last 2 weeks ago, i thought the child was already operated because it have been rescheduled for so many times , to the extent her Philippine Charity Sweepstakes Organization endorsement already expired, sad to say it still rescheduled again and again, why ? only one thing, they need things connected to money. It will be easier if they are not in Charity, they need plasma ,doctors etc etc etc. And through that God showed me we are more blessed, and we need to bless this people even in prayers,encouragement and whatever i can do for them . And I said to myself, I will bless them, so they will feels God's love in their times of hardship.
- Katrina's mom

Good and bad news

For months I've been waiting for it to open,,the agbell assistance, and now its open and we are not qualified..because I'm from other county with no insurance and no free of anything. This morning I'm so happy to hear my Katrina says, hi , fish, banana, because i stopped her therapy for 2 months now, and doing all by myself, and I'm proud of her. Happy then sad,I'm tired of begging, I'm tired of feeling sorry for myself. A place where we count AV schools in 5 fingers and almost no therapist at all. When I read some of the websites of what they have, I'm dying of envy and how I wish I'm there, oh if they only knew how hard it is for somebody when you all choose to have wants best for your children within your reach. My heart cries,,,I'm just happy to see that I have my computer to access all the links. I just remind myself to count my blessings,and be happy that she is already implanted one ear, even my blood came out just for her to have it, to raise for it , to beg for it. And it's never ending a long journey for me and her. It's harder because we are lacking in our resources, but i know we will surpass this, she will talk one day . I will post the videos, just like the time I am asking for help for her cochlear implant. WE will make it through this, I know! For God is there for us!

FRUSTATED IN MYSELF

As i remember in my last blogspot last February, I said to myself , I will teach Katrina by myself, lessons came from JTC last March 18, and I'm guilty not religiously following it,,,, ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS.

It's easier to say about how will you do it, excited to do it, but my God! It's hard doing it, the implementation as I say in my work, planning, conceptualizing is easy, implementing and monitoring is the hardest, it needs dedication, patience, consistency. AAAARRRRGGHHHH!

God called me to be a stay home mom,. to be a teacher to my 3 children, to love and nurture them in my hands...*@#% it's hard,,,,someone help me please!!!!!

Let me talk to 1,000 people, let me do an event for 24 hours, let me talk for 24 hours, let me do leg work and marketing strategies and blits , give me out of the earth QUOTA, but please not this!

It's easier to hit a figures than to hit a development in ones child..... RESULT ORIENTED,,,,yeah , that's me in WORK in OFFICE not at home...mama mia, ok
courage, no more courage! one by one....


Relax , take it easy, write everything down, and stick to it...wwaaahhh!

Teacher Mom

Whew, after the implant, the most crucial part is the rehabilitation and speech therapy ,,,, for almost 4 years of Katrina's life she haven't hear any sound so now slowly, we are introducing her to the noise of the world,,,,for almost 4 months we travel from Las Pinas to Quezon City just to have one hour speech therapy session...commute , we don't have car, I'm so happy that for the first month she already say mama, papa and recognize her name...simply simply words but enough for me, for now. Next week, we will end the speech therapy , Katrina was sponsored for 50 free sessions (praise the Lord) , we only have 6 sessions left,,,then finished. It costs a lot, i won't say figures...I sit and think , what's next. I dont want to work again, to leave them again to a nanny...I research again , and realized I might do it by myself (with the help of the God)..I asked my fellow parents abroad to how will i start, attend seminar but the truth is I'm afraid, i know my weakness and that is PATIENCE plus the atmosphere of the house and my 2 older kids , Can I do it? i already ask her therapist how.Please pray for me,,,i really want my daughter to talk just like other hearing kids Teacher Mom , speech therapist? good luck to me
Tags: teacher mom

MAPPING

For 2 weeks, Katrina throws tantrums everytime i turn her processor on, and i got scared that she might be hurting , so , today we went to her audiologist , to adjust her mapping, after the aided test, she didn't cry when it turned on.

Her audiologist adjusted it , and i was so amazed when she signed thumps up and hugs me. There is no problem with her processor it's her all along, she just don't want it to turn it on when we are at home. Maybe, she thought , it's only for therapy and mapping.

Tsk, tsk , tsk for now on, i have to be strict she have to wear it upto waking up .....

FACEBOOK

HI, i just joined facebook so i can reach more of my ci friends and group...i want to join as many as i can, I feel so restless and impatience with my daugther speech...and her attitude towards her hearing, oh God! I hope i can pass foward the world..

If you can see our stories in our other web , how we started and how we reach our goal just to get her implanted , now, the long way on therapy. Well, i know we will get it over,if she will just let me turn on the processor without a fight,,,,

Im so happy i got to know new people who might give me a very good advices...

So, from now on i'll do this blog everyday.