When your best is not good enough

WHAT HAPPENED AFTER 4 YEARS

For  all the things I have done , just to give her the implant, for all the people who lend a hand just to hear her talk...

I feel like dying, I gave up ,,November 1,2011 Katrina stopped wearing her processor (hearing aid) ,she do not want to wear it anymore..it was broken for a while but after fixing it, she don't want to wear it anymore..

from one school to the other, from one therapy center to countless therapy teachers and center..
waste of time and waste of money..

Then, I decided,,,,what should i do for the time being , what is needed  , BASIC COMMUNICATION.. without her device..and a very long hard road for her to speak up..SIGNING!!! I do not care what  people will say, as long as i can understand my child, as long as she is happy with her surroundings..as long as  she can understand us.

I STILL DO NOT REGRET I had her implanted, she will still use it someday...but God knows how struggle it is with me to end this way..

This is not the goal,,but what is HER goal, What will make HER happy,,one day she will be big enough to decide on her own,,at least it's already there inside of her.

Fight the good fight.

I saw her drawing again, and look at it , there are words in the drawing as if it's a comics but no meaning. and she read it to me ba,ba,ba. Still, no words, where have I gone wrong? 2 years now and 2 months now after her implantation. Been trying to reach to her, Is it me, is it my fault? NO, God has a plan and the healing is coming.

When i feel this way i go back to God and see my position as His Child. All the efforts will be paid up, i know,,,i will teach me even repeating it 100x

anybody from La Salle Taft,Admin or teachers

anybody from La Salle Taft,Admin or teachers

i heard there is a SPED scholarship in La Salle and i am so much interested, i 'm just hoping somebody from my multiply friends now something about this, I will go next week together with Katrina at PID, my mind is so full of things again,,decisions that will make a big difference again,i pray God to give me revelation to this ,,

PRESSING ON

I just met a mom in sm southmall , just like Katrina she also wears cochlear implant but different brand, we speak the same language, asking same questions, feel the same frustrations.

She said one word that struck me "Kung alam ko lang na ganito kahirap hindi ko na sana pina implant ang anak ko"( If i only knew how hard it is, i wish i didn't gave her implant) .

Even though, I been in all trials before, during and after her implantation , i will never said this words..I will never regret i gave her a cochlear implant. Hearing the world is a connection to people, we will all go into process and process hurts and hard but we will pass this, we will move on, inspite the circumstances I will still praise God, and continue to proclaim she is healed.

Cochlear implant is a gift from God, with the help of all His angels, it is a tool for my child to hear and speak, and I know miracle will happen,,,i will press on,,,,without any regrets

BLESSED

BLESSED

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