AWAKEN

Last April 27 is my birthday, i usually do some assessing , this time i didn't do it, for I know everyday is a new day with God, I don't suppose to feel guilty of the things I haven't done,letting go and forgiving is already given to us,I look back to my last blogs, full of confusion, guilt and worries,,,and yesterday after our care group(bible study) I was AWAKEN, i shouldn't feel those things for i am insulting the Lord..religious? well, better be than proud and miserable.Counting my blessing..as if i'm an actress with a long celebration with different people,,blessed ,blessed, blessed .



Since April 13 Katrina started her therapy with a new school (old as well as new) she's been there before, we didn't continue in St. Francis because it's so far located in Quezon city, with everyday session, long hours of travel, bigger expenses, and tiring..so my husband and I decided to enroll her here in Bf Pque instead..Father Gualandi school for hearing impaired children,,i schedule her therapy with Faith only..3x a week so calculate it in your mind to how much will it cost us in a week and so forth..by faith because i don't know where to get our payments for it,,truly God is faithful, after I enrolled her a day before she starts somebody gave her for a 6 sessions, before it is finished somebody again gave her 10 sessions, then my birthday gift another 4 sessions..truly God is just telling me , He will be in control. Last March and early week of April I'm busy with DSWD i'm applying for her scholarship..the letter is with the school already, we are just waiting for the result, but I'm confident it is positive.



Katrina is starting again with A E I O U sound, if she can identify it and say it using her audio or through listening only, at first she's having a hard time..but in God's time I know that she will talk just like any other kid..

Now, I'm just grateful to God for using the people around us, and I'm so happy I met them all.Truly , I can say it's worth celebrating my life.

Grace, I asked of thee

Every mapping, therapy, every meeting with doctors, i went home with tears...I'm so guilty.. i didn't do things right, maybe I give up in some ways , somewhere from one year and 8 months, i did something wrong...

Katrina haven't utter any words, suppossedly she is talking now, i've seen her bacthmates same hearing age now talking... It's been one year and 8 months now after her implant.

I feel so bad, frustrated..and trace back what happened,,i want to explain myself to everybody including myself, her therapy is on and off, so does wearing of her processor,i have to attend to my other kids who are demanding my attention, i told myself, i have other kids too and they also need me.OTHER household concerns.etc etc

I need to start again, i have "catching up todo" , she is far far behind her age, also with her hearing age.. i want to shout..i want to cry for help, help me to forgive myself, to forget the things i have done or not done, it's so overwhelming..and i'm panicking, time is ticking.

I pray for grace, to get me get through with this...there is a dead line for her spoken language

OBSTACLES

OBSTACLES

NEW YEAR, NEW DAY, NEW BEGINNING

I (mommy Karen) stopped reading other mom's blog regarding Cochlear implanted children improvements in my yahoo groups and deaf village. it's new year , a new day , a new beginning for all of us,including me and Katrina. I started working again a month ago, and hoping by working she won't stop therapy anymore and continue her studies in the school she will fit in and learn more, I stopped to compare her to other kids and pressure myself to death about her talking, Once again we start with a prayer and once again dedicate our Lives to Jesus, I pray that we will be at the right place at the right time with the right people and the right circumstances In God's plan and time.

Moretimes I love punishing myself by stressing myself with small things,,,good thing my husband is the cool one. Katrina is happy and I know she will talk one day, just one step at a time. My other kids will grow up , I can't cry over spilled milk, we can't get back time so we move on, we look up, then we look forward...Let's go forth and run the race until we reach our goal....

UPDATE on Katrina

UPDATE on Katrina

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KATRINA

All my pain, hardship and tears I offer it to all of my kids, but you are a special child and you need special love that's why I gave you special care, I don't regret anything I did for you, and I will do everything again just to make your life easier. I will not stop until I hear you talk, I will not stop until I see you stand up above them all, you are DEAF but it will not make you lesser person than anybody else, moreso, it makes you special above them all. I will teach you to love, to be humble, to be true to yourself and to be thankful in any simple things in life. I will teach you the things i did not learn, you will be a better person that I am. I will teach you to love life rather than things, I will see to it that you will have the courage to face the world by yourself, the confidence inside you to face anybody and everybody.Faith in God and His love. That's all I can give you, even we are not rich in material things, but we rich in faith, love and hope.Me, Dad Kuya Kyle and Kuya Justin,will always stand by your side , to cheer you on. Even you cannot read this for now, i know someday you will read this and by that time , you will read it ALOUD. WE LOVE YOU SO MUCH ANAK, God gave you to us just the way you are because you will do something great and He has plans for you. I can't wait to hear you say I LOVE YOU TOO.